You can't dim the light that was lit by G-d,

One of the things I can’t stand seeing - and it happens way too often - is what happens after a narcissist discards a woman. He does it over and over again and every time, she still comes back, because he knows how to reel her in. But then one day, she finally wakes up. She decides to leave. And instead of accepting it, he flips it, makes a scene, plays the victim, and tries to make it look like he’s the one who discarded her. Because that’s what narcissists do. They throw people away like old toys. Once it loses its shine, they move on to the next. But what breaks my heart is what I can’t stand the most - is when the woman validates that story by falling apart. When she becomes angry, cold, or isolates herself, she unknowingly gives him what he wanted. Because the truth is - the whole reason he targeted her in the first place is because she had something he didn’t. She was full of light. She had an aura, a presence, a warmth, intelligence, emotional depth, and purpose. He hated that, because he didn’t have it in him. So, like every insecure person, he tried to tear her apart, layer by layer until she forgot who she was. But here’s what women need to understand: That pain? That destruction? It was never meant to break you, it was meant to awaken you. These people show up as your challenge - the exact test you need to rise into the strongest, boldest, most powerful version of yourself. You fell for him because you had a big heart. You were empathetic, open, soft. And the truth is, those with soft hearts are the ones who need to be tested the hardest so they can learn to protect that heart while keeping it open. This was your test. And you can win. Don’t let him win by becoming bitter. Don’t let him harden you. That’s his victory.

The real revenge is growth. The real win is becoming wiser, stronger, and even more compassionate than before. That’s the only thing that truly destroys a narcissist because it’s everything they can never be.

That’s your power. And that’s your healing.

"You’re too smart for that". Why intelligent, empathic women fall for narcissists.

One of the most common questions I hear is, “but you’re so intelligent, so self-aware, how could someone like you have fallen for him?”

It’s a question asked with confusion, sometimes judgment, and often disbelief. And my answer is always the same: intelligence/wisdom has nothing to do with it. Narcissists aren’t drawn to ignorance - they’re drawn to empathy. And empaths, in turn, are drawn to narcissists. It’s the perfect energetic storm. One has an endless amount to give and the other has an endless amount to take.

The empath feels needed, purposeful, maybe even special. The narcissist feels powerful, adored/praised and in control. In the beginning, it almost feels like fate a deep, magnetic connection that seems to defy logic. But it’s not chemistry, it’s conditioning. It’s trauma disguised as passion. The empath keeps giving because that’s what she does - she believes love can heal. And the narcissist keeps taking, because that’s what they do - they believe love is control.

Eventually, though something breaks because their mask slips. The empath starts to see the truth. She realizes it’s not that she’s helping them - it’s that they’re draining her. That the relationship isn’t about mutual growth or care but about maintaining dominance. And when she finally starts to wake up, when she begins to pull away, when she’s ready to leave - that’s when the narcissist panics. Because it’s never been about love. It’s always been about control.

When control starts slipping, the mask comes off. That’s when the begging, crying, threats, and manipulation start. Suddenly, the same person who belittled you, ignored you and treated you like you were disposable now claims they can’t live without you. They’ll say, “If you leave me, I’ll go insane or hurt myself.” But that’s not love - that’s emotional blackmail. That’s fear dressed as affection. And it’s designed to pull you back into the cycle.

What people don’t understand is you don’t stay with a narcissist because you love them. You stay because they’ve manipulated you into believing you have to. It’s fear-based. It’s survival. And that’s what forms the trauma bond - the push, the pull, the intermittent reward that keeps you hooked. But when you finally wake up and see it for what it is, that’s the moment everything changes.

Because once you see the pattern, you can’t unsee it. And that’s when you have to go - and never look back. If you stay, even once, you show them your insecurity. And oh, how they love insecurity. They thrive on it. It feeds their ego, makes them feel superior, powerful, in control. Think of it like a toddler who’s just been told “no” for the first time. They’ll scream, stomp, and throw themselves on the floor until they get their way. The only difference is this isn’t a toddler - it’s a grown adult in emotional diapers. And that’s what makes it sad.

That’s why it’s at that exact moment - when they’re begging, crying, threatening, or guilt-tripping - that you need to walk away. Not slowly. Not halfway. Fully. Because once you stop letting them cross your boundaries, once you know your worth and refuse to be controlled, that’s when everything shifts. That’s the beginning of your leveling up.

You start to realize that peace feels better than chaos. That love shouldn’t be painful or conditional. That your worth doesn’t depend on someone needing you - it depends on you needing yourself. That’s when life starts to open up again. When you breathe differently. When you laugh without guilt. When your energy - the same energy they tried to drain becomes yours again.

You never stayed because you were naive. You stayed because you were loyal, hopeful, and kind. But once you understand the difference between love and control, you’ll never confuse the two again. And that’s where your real power begins.

The only healthy type of 'bad boys'

You just know when someone's got that magnetism of a supernova. That charisma, contagious laugh, that rare star quality. But where does she get it? Maybe she's born with it, but maybe it's those flourless, no butter/no oil, no bake delectable energy bites . I guess you just won't know until you try them...

The hardest part about these delectable energy bites is that you can't have just one. Trust me, I've tried. Whether you're pmsing and need that chocolate fix, need a quick snack before or after the gym, or running out the door to pick up 15 kids for carpool early in the am, these are your best, quickest, and healthiest bet! I freeze them because the consistency is especially delicious while being cold.

Once you hear how healthy these ingredients are, your freezer will be stocked with these bad boys for good!

All you need are the ingredients listed below. My only request is that you buy the Trader Joe's peanut butter (pic below) because it literally tastes like the inside of a Reese's bar and for some great reason has 85% less fat than regular peanut butter. You could use any peanut butter, almond butter or coconut oil but that's if you're ok with them not being as fa-reakin awesome! You're only 'work' with these bad boys, is taking the dates and boiling them in hot water  (I boil them in almond milk for 3 minutes) you could do this in your microwave as well. This is just to soften them up so that they blend well in your blender. If you're not willing to do that, then don't! It'll still be just as irresistible! 

So that's it! Take all the ingredients, put them into a blender, start spooning, form balls with your hands and then store in the freezer or refrigerator! Lastly, plop your feet up, give a good hair toss, and indulge! 

These tasty little snacks are full of real food ingredients including whole oats, chia seeds, and quinoa. They get their addictive crunch from the cocoa nibs and quinoa are naturally gluten-free, 

• No Refined Sugar
• Whole Grains
• 6% of Iron (daily value)
• 8% of Fiber (daily value)
• 6% Protein (daily value)
• Omega-3 Essential Fatty Acids
• Super Foods (Chia, Flax Seed, quinoa, Coconut Oil)

* Naughty Ingredient Options *

These options will make this recipe feel like you're sinning...

1 whole banana , cranberries, 5 Tbsp pumpkin (from a can) , candied pecans (or almonds) , crushed pretzels, crushed graham crackers, your favorite cereal, salted caramel, the list goes on! Just think of your favorite toppings and add it to the main ingredients on top!

Always...keep em...guessing...

It would be easier to take the unwrapped dark round chocolates sitting over there and just pop em in one by one. But as you can see there's a single chocolate that's wrapped and since I have no clue what's inside that shiny gold little sexy wrapper... I need to find out. Like, what if it's far more satisfying? Is it dark chocolate? Will there be caramel oooozing out? Are there nuts inside? Is it going to have that salty/sweet thing going on? is it creamier? Ugh...so many endless possibilities!! I decide to go with the covered one simply because of the uncertainty. I am wanting MORE! THAT ladies, is how to stand out of a crowd. Contrary to what you think, the more layers, the more mystery, and all the more desirable.  Yes I'm referring to modesty. So considering everyone else around you at a club is half naked, you have the chance to really stand out. How? For starters, GET DRESSED! What woman (besides me) doesn't love the whole experience of shopping? Why not spend your money on something that actually fits, and flatters you. I'm not saying one is better than the other. There are different things that empower different women, and it isn't mine or anyone else's place to tell you which one is right or wrong.  Modesty can be empowering and so can nudity. But Personally, modesty is what makes me feel empowered as a Woman. As a side note, when a woman is modest, she creates something far more alluring than an overwhelming amount of cleavage. She creates mystery. BUT she won't know the power of it until she uses it and sees it for herself. Mystery is far more appealing and attractive. Do you know why? Because it's mysterious!! 

In a world where everyone is so overexposed, the sexiest thing you can do is remain a bit mysterious. A man knows what a naked woman looks like (hopefully). So just another naked woman at the bar bending down to expose herself (and her insecurities) in front of a man isn't going be the woman he'll be taking home to meet mom and dad to for thanksgiving. All of the magazines and media will tell you, "Play hard to get, get into great shape, dress to kill, make him jealous". The answer isn't in cosmos "21 ways". Clearly they haven't figured it out since they're still saying the same things over and over like a broken record except with different models, photographers and layouts.

A woman who has everything to flaunt but chooses not to show it is a woman to admire.  As a woman, you've been blessed with a royal crown that is on your head 24/7. You could choose to either wear it everyday or strip yourself of clothes and dignity and blend in with the rest.  A woman that walks around flaunting her goods, tells me that she probably doesn't have much else to offer. A man is far more interested, and intrigued by a classy, and elegant sophisticated woman. He wants a woman that respects herself because ultimately, that tells him she has high standards. If she can't respect herself, how could he possibly respect her?  It's also a lot more special and sexy for him to know that he will be the only man on this planet that gets to see YOU in your birthday suit. My point here isn't that if you walk around naked you won't get married or find true love. Anyone can get married and anyone can fall in love. A man doesn't define you or your future. The point is that you are a woman! Like the chocolate covered in gold wrapping, you are a gift. Women automatically  possess  a sensuality and beauty. A wise woman knows how to slowly unravel her layers only one layer at a time which makes her all the more intriguing. THAT is the power of modesty and THAT is the power of a true virtuous, mysterious and wise Naughty Dame!

Written by : Rebekah Garfunkel

Choosing your sole mate. Manolo's,Guccis and Prada, oh my!

Choose your soulmate like you'd choose your shoes. When it comes to your solemate, only one size is going to fit. If you're planning on having a kick ass life, you're going to have to search for some real kick ass shoes.

So there you are la-dee-da on the hunt for that perfect pair of shoes. Not just any shoes. The shoes. The ones that make you feel like yourself again, only elevated. You don’t exactly know what you’re looking for, but you’ll know it when you find it. You’re open to trying on as many pairs as it takes.

Now, don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying sleep with every shoe that smiles at you. I’m saying try them on for a size. Take them for a little coffee run. Feel them out. You’re not settling for anything less than what fits, what honors you, what makes you feel you. And you shouldn’t.

Anyway… WOAH. There they are.

The ones. The kind that stop time for a second. The kind that sparkle like they were handcrafted by angels with perfect taste. You pick them up, $2,260 Manolos, obviously not on sale - and the air shifts. There’s this halo glow around them, like a mist of moon dust. It feels divine.

You already know what this means. These shoes aren’t just expensive, they’ll cost you more than money. They’ll cost you something deeper. Your peace, your sense, your damn sanity. But your brain’s doing the math while your intuition’s already screaming, NO.

Like a full-blown siren between your ears - Step away, girl. STEP. AWAY.

But what do we do best?

We “shoed” it away. We turn down the volume on our instincts and crank up the fantasy. We convince ourselves this is different. That maybe, just maybe, this time the shoes will stretch, the blisters won’t hurt, and the price will somehow come down. Spoiler: it never does.

You slip one on. Oh, she’s tight. Painful, even. But damn, she looks good. You slip the other on and stand up. Instant transformation.

You strut. You catwalk. You feel ten feet tall. You toss your hair and catch your reflection - perfection.

Then you do the thing every woman does when she’s looking for outside validation: you glance around to see if anyone else noticed. That right there? Red flag numero uno. Because when you truly feel good, you don’t need to be seen, you just are. But in that moment, you ignore that too. You tell yourself it’s fine, that all new shoes take some breaking in, that pain is beauty, that maybe this is what love feels like, expensive and dizzying.

Until the seams start to cut, and the sparkle fades, and suddenly you’re bleeding through $2,260 worth of illusion. And that’s when it hits you. It was never about the shoes. It was about the woman who didn’t trust her own feet enough to walk away barefoot.

written by: Rebekah Garfunkel

Tiktok: @SheRoleModels

Brains and Beauty.

Watch her woo you with wisdom.

BEAUTY OR BRAINS? HOW ABOUT BOTH?

Fortunatly for Jesica, she has both. Check out what this sharp and soulful Naughty Dame, Jesica Ahlberg has to share with us. She is an actress, model and former winner for Miss Alabama in the 2014 beauty pageant. Jesica is truly as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. Hard to believe, I know, but this dame has so much more to her than what you see. Read on and see for yourself!

What makes someone so appealing and sexy are the real things about them. Are they kind? Respectful? Dignified? Generous? Honest? Does he/she have values? Beliefs? Goals? Quirks? Humor? THAT is when the real attraction starts, and that is what will ultimately make you fall in love with them indefinitely. 

In the next two videos that you're about to see, I will prove to you that the outer appearance will only keep your attention for a mere moment. It's only once you get to know more about someones character that you will find yourself wanting to know more. Watch both videos and see how your thoughts about a person can easily be changed based on seeing their outer appearance vs. learning about who they are, their true essence; their real beauty. 

Well men…would you date her? I know your eyes loved her, and I'm certain your lower apparatus did too, but what did you actually think about her? Maybe watch the second video that way you can actually form an honest opinion.

Ok, so Jesica just happens to be one of those rare cases who happens to have both. You were warned.

There you go, you really fell for her. Jesica's sex appeal and glow doesn't come from her figure or her face, it comes from the inner most beautiful part of herself; her soul. When you fill yourself with goodness, positive energy and appreciate your life and everyone around you, you become a happier and more fulfilled person. Happier people have a radiance about them that no makeup can create. At the end of the day you can call it whatever you want but a true beauty knows that there is only one kind! 

Below is a Q & A with Jesica Ahlberg. I hope you enjoy getting to know her as much as I did!

-------> #GIRLCRUSH <------

ND: 

What does it mean to you to you to hold the prestigious title of  "Miss Alabama USA"? 

JA: 

For me, it meant having a long term goal and committing to doing everything I had to do to achieve it. I am very proud of the discipline and hard work that got me to my goal. 

ND: 

As well as being drop dead gorgeous, you're a true role model as well. Please share with us the volunteer work you do for the basics M.O.R.E program. What is it that you do exactly and what made you choose that program specifically?

JA: 

Thank you. I have always been an advocate of literacy. I believe a strong reading foundation is important to long term success. The Better Basics M.O.R.E. Program (motivators of reading enrichment) works with the Birmingham public schools to help encourage and develop a strong foundation for reading among those students. I would read to a class each week, and reward the students who read on their own time with books to keep. 

ND:

Damn woman, you really are the whole package! What is your biggest turn on?

JA: 

Simple. Hard workers 

ND: 

I like a good hard worker too (no pun intended). What would it take to get a Naughty Dame like you?

JA: 

Haa! Well this may sound cheesy but honesty, trust, kindness and a great smile.

ND:

Well you should know, cheesy lasts a lifetime. Bad boys may be for 'fun', but nerds are forever.  What advice would you give to women who have dreams and goals that they wish to achieve?

JA:

Make a plan for yourself. Know what you need to do to allow yourself to achieve your goal and do not give up! 

ND:

Very well said! What could you not leave the house without? 

JA:

My iphone. It is my mini office, life connection, map and music.

ND:

I hear that! So Jessica…where do you see yourself in the future?

JA:

I see myself as a successful actress and business woman in the entertainment industry. 

ND:

Well Jesica, you are the epitome of a Naughty Dame and I have no doubt that through all of your wisdom and kindness you will be extremely successful in anything that you do. Thank you for sharing with us all about yourself. We'll be on the lookout for you in Forbes magazine! Ciao bella!

JA:

It was a pleasure! Thank you! :)